And it goes on and on and on

 

I find comfort in doing simple things.. for other people… i love giving surprises, i enjoy making other people smile around me.. even those who were far away. There is this contentment feeling everytime i do things for other people despite the fact that im in deep shit. I love what Im doing. I feel and believe I’m a people person. I love interaction. I love conversation. I love companionship. The fact that I’ve got 457 contacts in my phonebook makes me smile. But at the end of the day, I still feel stupid, tired, battered and alone. Out of all those 457 contacts, how many would be willing to sit down and watch the sunset with me? How many of those 457 would be willing to talk about nonsense with me? Its sad.

Some people judge you with the way you handle things. They looked as if youre this kind of person with the things you do. I am 110% full of problems, believe me, they’re a lot and growing fast… How do i handle them? I sit, pray, talk, laugh and do things for other people. But most of the time, i get and feel scared and I cry, question and sometimes deny.. 95% of the time im depressed…..a few years back, ive been diagnosed with bein manic depressive.. there, the cat’s out in the bag already.. been into psychiatric treatment to help treat my overpowering depression, i wasnt able to overcome the depression, but I am not the suicidal type. I just get depressed most of the time. There were times when im sooooo depressed for several days… but thats just it, i dont do anything that will harm other people much more myself. I just tend to feel sad about a lot things, think a lot and feel sorry for everything, but after depression, im ok.. im alright. I know sometimes its not healthy to be that way, but I cant help it. Thats just the way I am.

I guess Ive written too much already. In this blog, you’ll see not just my positive sides ( as if there’s a lot of positivity to see in it hahaha) but also Yanah’s dark side.. Why am I doin this? I dunno. I just wanted to.

Why the english post? For a change…

Title’s connection with my post? Dunno. Photo’s connection with my post  or title? Dunno.

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11 Responses to And it goes on and on and on

  1. J. Kulisap ay nagsasabing:

    Tulungan natin ang ating mga sarili.

    Magkaiba man ng opinyon ang tao, ang mahalaga, may pagkakaunawaan.
    Tampuhan man ako ng tao, basta sinabi ko na ‘yon.

    Bakit ko sinasabi ito? I dunno, for a change. LMAO 🙂

  2. bhing ay nagsasabing:

    “Why am I doin this? I dunno. I just wanted to”

    …just DO what you bliv is right, everything will be just alright 🙂

    Happy Sunday Yanah!

  3. khanto ay nagsasabing:

    hirap naman ng westion mo kung ilan sa contacts mo ang makiki-upo sa iyo para manood ng sunset.

    depression is part of life. We feel down and we feel sad. But hey, it doesn’t mean that we can never get out of depression.

    cheer up. 😀

    Happy sunday

  4. Jinjiruks Ikari ay nagsasabing:

    yes yanah, anu na naman ang nakain mo bakit puro English ata ang post mo ngayon!

  5. waltz ay nagsasabing:

    hindi natin kailangan ng maraming kaibigan o tao sa ating tabi. isa o dalawang tao lang ay okey na.

  6. MidNyt Driver ay nagsasabing:

    dapat ba talga english??? try mo kong pahirapan…

    haaayyy.. kailangan makawala ka na sa depression na yan.. TAra.. kape tayo! text mo lang ako!

  7. kikilabotz ay nagsasabing:

    yanah ito na pala ang bago mong blog astig. ^_^

  8. Diamond R ay nagsasabing:

    nahanap di si yanah. ang liit talaga ng mundo. pag gusto mo makikita mo.
    good morning yanah.

  9. ever ay nagsasabing:

    ay, kala ko si mang dunno yung nabanggit…(sorry for my late update yanah about your new home blog…busy busyhan din ang lolo mo.).

  10. Lhan ay nagsasabing:

    dumaan.. dunno. nagcomment dunno too! ^^

  11. salbehe ay nagsasabing:

    Two to three years ago, nagkaroon din ako ng manic depression at insomia. Ang mahal ng gamot di ba? P60 isang tableta para lang makatulog nang mahimbing. Alam mo ang ginawa ko? Nakipagbreak ako sa bf, I’m happy since then.

    Ang point ko? Happy na, single pa. Booyeah!

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