one last story

Although love means never giving up, it can also mean letting go. Sometimes, we’ll meet people who cant be strong or whose weakness will poison us. WEhen loving becomes a one-way process, we definitely have to let go. The sooner the better. Letting go is like a pill that we have to swallow in order for us to heal ourselves and move on to the next phase of our lives.

They said, when youre in despair, a paragraph maybe coming to its end but surely another chapter will be starting soon. Another story—-a different version of starting anew, most probably a good one, a new beginning and the one thats truly meant for you. One should enter the process of forgetting. it is indeed hard to forget but we can start by motivating ourselves and create our own diversion. one can never say how far or how long the time we need to completely forget someone. Specially when we loved too much, gave up too much and been hurt too much…

Sometimes, things doesnt go along with what we wanted to happen. I was young then but not too young not to distinguish false emotions to “real love”. I had this fancy feelings for this certain guy. I was a year or two older than him. He never seems to notice me. Civil. that was the term for it. Through the years , we both matured in different ways. He went on with his life and i went with mine. We see each other every now and then.. we talked.. but just like before, talked when asked. ive been through a lot of relationships lately, been through lots of ordeals. been through hell in short sense. never revealign a part of me/of my heart and feelings that ahs long been kept because i thought the person ive been loving secretly would not love me back. and so that was it. a big secret that only my mind can notice and only my heart can spell.

A certain occassion brought a tremendous change in my situation. I never thought that the secret ive been keeping for so long would be unveiled.

He was drunk, didnt know how much. he came to me and asked me to go with him somewhere to attend something. i wasnt expecting too much of it for i know he’s drunk that time., i didnt know it was for real. not until the next day and tried to confirmed the invitation he asked the night before .. and he wasnt drunk this time. I thought it was really something. Could it be the start? The one that ive been waiting for so long?

It was indeed a start of a new story, a new chapter in my life. He started courting me. He kept texting me, wanting to see me everyday. ive been really ecstatic about the whole thing. couldnt believe my luck! i thought everything will work out fine.

Its like a dream come true for me. we became a couple.. we were a couple. Yes, i do love him, how much? immeasurable. we were doing fine. but of course in every relationship, there’s the usual humps and bumps along the way. my family hates hi, his whole clan despises me. lots of people interfere. its like a “you and me against the world” thing. ive been through a lot of humiliations, hurting and crying but i didnt dare tell him so afraid that he mgiht take sides and find out in the end that he will enver take my side.

Then he started to be cold. he doesnt do the same things he used to do for me ;like finding ways to see me.. to talk to me. he doesnt even text me anymore. he acts as if nothing’s happening. ive had countless sleepless nights because of it. i feel so neglected.

is he worth fighting for? is he worth all the tears/humiliations and pain im feeling? will this dream turn into a nightmare? things may not be getting better for the two of us, but im keeping my fingers crossed. my heart never stops beating for him.

a friend once said, embrace the moment while he’s still there and whe he’s there. but what about tomorrow? what about the day after tomorrow? i know he will never come back. whats in store for me? will this be my last story about him? will this be the end of my dream?

***** june 25, 2004

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8 Responses to one last story

  1. Lord CM ay nagsasabing:

    Nosebleed lolzzz..Wag mo lang Syang kalimutan sa bawat desisyon mo at sa bawat gagawin mo…

  2. ORACLE ay nagsasabing:

    Forgetting is impossible. Understanding and accepting heals. It may be painful, but let not pain deter you to what healing may bring…People come, people go. That's the way it is. But we have to realize that life indeed goes on. Don't be so hard on yourself. Sabi nga, today's newspaper will be tomorrow's trash. Maniwala ka, soon enough everything will be okay. Kaya mo yan, you've been harder situations before. You are a strong person. You know it. My prayers and thoughts be with you. Hold on, things will get better, you'll just have to be there when it eventually happens. TC! 🙂

  3. jodi ay nagsasabing:

    malay mo bumalik sya..ganyan lang ang buhay minsan di mo malaman kung bakit pero later on may something pala na dapat nating ipagpasalamat sa kanya..

  4. EǝʞsuǝJ ay nagsasabing:

    Utang na looob!bakit ba english ang mga posts nyooooo!!!nahihirapan magfunction ang utak ko sa pagbabasa at pag-aanalyze!..(joke)—————->siryusLi….pag nagmahal tayoalam natin na hindi natin kailangang humiling ng kapalit…basta ang lagi lang natin dapat tandaanbago tayo magmahal ng ibang tao,mahalin muna ntin yung sarili natinand the rest will follow…:)PS.boi pwede ang next entry tagalog na lang?masakit na ulo ko sa english eh..joke..:)

  5. HARI NG SABLAY ay nagsasabing:

    kala ko pa naman hapi ending,against ol odds pa naman ang story niyo,sarap basahin. pero teka hindi pa naman ATA ito tapos diba?

  6. MarcoPaolo ay nagsasabing:

    way back na pala ito… kala ko bago lang… hehehehe

  7. Everlito (ever) Villacruz ay nagsasabing:

    parang muling ibalik ang tamis at pait ng pag-ibig!…abangan ko yung ibang part.

Sarado na ang mga puna.